New Year's Resolutions

Since it's New Years Eve I decided to post my list of New Year's Resolutions! I already marked off the ones I've done. (I don't give a shit if it's not a new year until tomorrow. I'm doing it anyway)

Make list of New Year's Resolutions.*
Marks off things I've done.*
Breathe.*
Blink.*
Get a job.
Listen to music.*
Throw a party.
Go to a party.
Write at least one poem.
Play with fire.
Blow something up.
Pass Junior year.
Start Senior year.
Turn 18.
Buy a laptop.
Sleep.
Eat an vegetable.
Use improper grammar.*
Make corny jokes.*
Think about dragons.*
Buy an iPod.
Get a lip piercing.
Think about unicorns.
Don't die.
Convince someone I'm from another country.
Look at stars.*
Look directly at the sun.
Go temporarily blind.
Point at a live fish.
Throw a rock.
Buy a bike.
Steal something free.

Fuck. I have a lot more to go. I'll let you know when I finish them all!

Been two months.

I wish I had a reason why it's taken me two months to post another blog but I honestly have no reason. I have nothing else I'm working on. But it's not like anyone was hoping to read this anyway. So I guess I'll tell myself what I got for Christmas. A FUCKING HELICOPTER! Among other things. I'll make a list at the end. Right now I'm just gonna rant about something and maybe post a poem. OH! Here's something I thought when I was a kid!

When I was a kid I thought that all food went to the brain and the brain was the king of your body. The brain's chamber was very elaborate, like something you'd see out of a movie with a red carpet and statues and all that shit. But anyway, every time you ate something the brain's servants (who were asparagus for some reason even though I hated it) would bring it to the brain for inspection. If it passed inspection it would be sent to the intestines where it would be a slave, forced to mine nutrients until it dies. If the food failed inspection, it would be beaten into a shitty pulp and forced out of your body. I could probably make a movie out of that because I think it's really badass.

Things I got for Christmas! (so far):
Beatles drinking glasses
1000 piece Sgt. Pepper puzzle
The Beatles: The Illustrated Biography
Air Hogs helicopter
Tub of animal crackers
Breathers (A zombie love story. But not like twilight. More like Pulp Fiction)
Shawshank Redemption
Original Star Wars Trilogy
iRobot
Batman Hoodie
Call of Duty: Black Ops
And some other shit that I don't feel like listing.

Fucking Fuck

What the fuck is with censorship in the media these days? Seriously, are you too much of a pussy to let your child see a dick or tits on TV when they are two very natural body parts? Or do you just have a stick up your ass. But fuck nudity. What really pisses me off is that you can't say fucking shit on TV or the radio! I'm FUCKING sick and tired of hearing a song come on the radio that's a great song but it says shit one time so they bleep it out. It PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. Some people may see me as a 17 year old kid trying to get attention by fucking cussing fucking every fucking other fucking word. Fuck. But really I think that music is a fucking art form. And if the artist decides to spice it up a little by saying fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, cock, weed, or whatever else they bleep out on the radio, then you should leave it that way. Fuck the FCC. I don't see what is wrong with the word fuck at all. It's not just on radio or TV anymore! I was listening to a song on the internet and it even bleeped out the word, "fuck." Sure I can tolerate this crap if it's on the radio or TV but if it's on the fucking internet?! Fuck no!! I want to hear the art the way it was intended. A good example is a song that goes like this, "You look like shit, you smell like shit, so why are you such a dick!" But what I just heard on THE INTERNET, where porn, cusswords, and fecile matter run rampant, was, "You look like, you smell like, so why are you such a." It totally kills the whole song. Not to mention that it makes it one of the worst incomplete sentences I have ever seen. So fuck the fucking media.

Sugar is a drug

Have you ever eaten so many sweets that afterwards you feel like shit? And I'm not just talking about that sick feeling. I'm talking about that depressed feeling you get when you eat a whole bag of Starburst, half a tube of cookies, and two 2-liters of neon-colored soda. And it's not the fact that you ate all the sweets that gets you depressed but you're depressed because you don't have any more sweets. Doesn't that feel strangely good? I'm pretty sure it's called withdrawal which makes me believe that sugar is a drug. And it probably is. I just don't feel like going to Google and typing in "Is sugar a drug?" because I already know it is. Sugar is a drug just like chocolate, caffeine, and cocaine. But maybe it's not the chocolate itself that's a drug but the sugar inside that gives it it's drug-like qualities. The world may never care.

Hello Again Nobody!

Yeah I just posted one of these a few hours ago but I just wanted to throw my deviantart account out so you could visit that. If you want to read poems that is. From now on any poem I write will go to my deviantart account. I already have a few posted there and I will put any that I've posted here, onto deviant. I also just posted a collection of 28 Haikus onto there. Those are really cool. Check those out. And other than the one's on here you've read and the ones on there you'll read, there will also be a whole seven new poems that you probably have never read! No matter how hard I try poetry will never sound cool.

http://iamnotcody.deviantart.com

Foods That Should Exist.

Okay so today I was helping my friend upload pictures to Facebook. This would take five minutes or less if I was standing there with them. But when you have to do it through chat and your friend doesn't really know much about computers, it apparently takes you 50 minutes. Which really cuts down on the rest of the time in your day to do whatever it is you need to do. I needed to eat and take a shower but I wanted to do this as quick as possible so I could get back to Facebook and do stupid Facebook shit. So in order to eat as fast as I could I just threw together a ham sandwich. After about half my sandwich I thought, "Fuck! It has never taken me this long to eat a sandwich! I just want a shower!" That is when I had probably the best idea in the history of man. Waterproof bread. Okay it may sound irrational now but imagine that you wake up and you're gonna be late for work! But you still have enough time to take a shower and make a sandwich. Sure you could take a shower, get out, make a sandwich, and eat while you are driving. But if you do that then how will you talk on your cell phone, paint your nails, and drive? Simple. You eat in the shower. Waterproof bread doesn't get soggy from water! Only from saliva! So it won't start to break down until you bite it!

Speaking of food, I have other great ideas for food things that need to be invented. The first one I ever had is ice cream nachos. I bet you just said "Eww." Most people do when I say the name. But that's only because they have no idea what I'm talking about! I'm going to assume that everybody knows what nachos are. And as far as I know, there are only two kinds One kind is the little plastic tray thing you buy at fairs that comes with tortilla chips in a large section and cheese/salsa in a smaller section. The other kind is the loaded kind where there are just a bunch of tortilla chips on a plate and they're covered in meat, cheese, salsa, and whatever else they put on nachos. Ice cream nachos works for both kinds. Instead of meat, cheese, and salsa, you get ice cream and hot fudge. Now that you know what ice cream nachos are don't they sound delicious?

My last idea is a simple one. Rice paper baking cups. This is for those people who are about to bite into a cupcake when they realize that the paper is on it, so they take the paper off but the cupcake falls apart and crumbles to the ground. Well with rice paper baking cups you don't need to worry about peeling back the paper because they're 100% edible! So no more eaten paper and no more crumby cupcakes!

Wants, needs, and don't wants.

I have some great ideas oh yes I do. I have this idea for a tattoo that will BLOW YOUR MIND. Okay so there is a green landscape with a hill on the left and rainbow going across it. On the right is a huge dark green dragon with it's wing's spread behind it and it's breathing fire onto the hill. On the hill is a white majestic unicorn with it's front right hoof hiked up and it has a fierce look in it's eyes. Its horn is deflecting the dragons fire and it creates kind of a semi circle around the unicorn. And in the middle of the two is a lone daisy. This tattoo is the most beautiful and awesome thing I have ever seen and it doesn't even exist. Yet.

Also now that I have my phone back I need to make plans with like A BAJILLION different fucking people! All my friends that I haven't seen in forever (who are girls) want to go hang out and my ex wants to go back out. And I'm not free for two weeks! It couldn't get any more complicated! Oh shit it can! There's also a girl I like! So let's see, take 6-10 girls, one most recent ex girlfriend, one really awesome girl, mix it all together with a confused teenage boy, and what do you get? Sounds to me like a really shitty movie. But it's not a movie. It's real life.

Also I wish more people would subscribe to my blog so it at least gives the illusion of people reading my blog. If you are reading this and are not subscribed, make a blogger account and subscribe right fucking now. Or login and subscribe if you already have one.