Ramen and toast is not as good as once thought.

Holy horse shit! It's been a year since I wrote a blog! Well what has happened in those 3 months I just called a year? Well to be honest I don't remember. I just know that 2011 is the year of hating everything. I hate school. I hate the internet. I hate people. I hate everything. But on a lighter note, I don't actually hate everything. Just everything that doesn't benefit me directly at the moment. Like people sitting on the other side of the cafeteria, I hate them. But my friends sitting next to me? I don't hate them. And this bowl of ramen I'm eating. I don't hate it.

Spring break is coming up! Whoop whoop! Starting Friday afternoon I don't have school for a whole week! Too bad that the warmest it's going to get is maybe 50. I fucking hate where I live. The weather is so unpredictable, cruel, and just downright gay. I bet if the weather was a person it would be a really chill guy, but then out of nowhere he would pull your pants down and start fucking you in the ass and not even give you a reach-around. Unpredictable, cruel, and just downright gay. Fuck this town.

After Spring break I'll have just a few weeks left of school and I am done for a whole three months! Last day is June 24! Then I go to a different school where I know about 10-15 people. WOO! Well on the bright side I really do hate Ludlow. I guess that's all. I guess I'll try and write more of these more often!

New Year's Resolutions

Since it's New Years Eve I decided to post my list of New Year's Resolutions! I already marked off the ones I've done. (I don't give a shit if it's not a new year until tomorrow. I'm doing it anyway)

Make list of New Year's Resolutions.*
Marks off things I've done.*
Breathe.*
Blink.*
Get a job.
Listen to music.*
Throw a party.
Go to a party.
Write at least one poem.
Play with fire.
Blow something up.
Pass Junior year.
Start Senior year.
Turn 18.
Buy a laptop.
Sleep.
Eat an vegetable.
Use improper grammar.*
Make corny jokes.*
Think about dragons.*
Buy an iPod.
Get a lip piercing.
Think about unicorns.
Don't die.
Convince someone I'm from another country.
Look at stars.*
Look directly at the sun.
Go temporarily blind.
Point at a live fish.
Throw a rock.
Buy a bike.
Steal something free.

Fuck. I have a lot more to go. I'll let you know when I finish them all!

Been two months.

I wish I had a reason why it's taken me two months to post another blog but I honestly have no reason. I have nothing else I'm working on. But it's not like anyone was hoping to read this anyway. So I guess I'll tell myself what I got for Christmas. A FUCKING HELICOPTER! Among other things. I'll make a list at the end. Right now I'm just gonna rant about something and maybe post a poem. OH! Here's something I thought when I was a kid!

When I was a kid I thought that all food went to the brain and the brain was the king of your body. The brain's chamber was very elaborate, like something you'd see out of a movie with a red carpet and statues and all that shit. But anyway, every time you ate something the brain's servants (who were asparagus for some reason even though I hated it) would bring it to the brain for inspection. If it passed inspection it would be sent to the intestines where it would be a slave, forced to mine nutrients until it dies. If the food failed inspection, it would be beaten into a shitty pulp and forced out of your body. I could probably make a movie out of that because I think it's really badass.

Things I got for Christmas! (so far):
Beatles drinking glasses
1000 piece Sgt. Pepper puzzle
The Beatles: The Illustrated Biography
Air Hogs helicopter
Tub of animal crackers
Breathers (A zombie love story. But not like twilight. More like Pulp Fiction)
Shawshank Redemption
Original Star Wars Trilogy
iRobot
Batman Hoodie
Call of Duty: Black Ops
And some other shit that I don't feel like listing.

Fucking Fuck

What the fuck is with censorship in the media these days? Seriously, are you too much of a pussy to let your child see a dick or tits on TV when they are two very natural body parts? Or do you just have a stick up your ass. But fuck nudity. What really pisses me off is that you can't say fucking shit on TV or the radio! I'm FUCKING sick and tired of hearing a song come on the radio that's a great song but it says shit one time so they bleep it out. It PISSES ME THE FUCK OFF. Some people may see me as a 17 year old kid trying to get attention by fucking cussing fucking every fucking other fucking word. Fuck. But really I think that music is a fucking art form. And if the artist decides to spice it up a little by saying fuck, shit, cunt, bitch, cock, weed, or whatever else they bleep out on the radio, then you should leave it that way. Fuck the FCC. I don't see what is wrong with the word fuck at all. It's not just on radio or TV anymore! I was listening to a song on the internet and it even bleeped out the word, "fuck." Sure I can tolerate this crap if it's on the radio or TV but if it's on the fucking internet?! Fuck no!! I want to hear the art the way it was intended. A good example is a song that goes like this, "You look like shit, you smell like shit, so why are you such a dick!" But what I just heard on THE INTERNET, where porn, cusswords, and fecile matter run rampant, was, "You look like, you smell like, so why are you such a." It totally kills the whole song. Not to mention that it makes it one of the worst incomplete sentences I have ever seen. So fuck the fucking media.

Sugar is a drug

Have you ever eaten so many sweets that afterwards you feel like shit? And I'm not just talking about that sick feeling. I'm talking about that depressed feeling you get when you eat a whole bag of Starburst, half a tube of cookies, and two 2-liters of neon-colored soda. And it's not the fact that you ate all the sweets that gets you depressed but you're depressed because you don't have any more sweets. Doesn't that feel strangely good? I'm pretty sure it's called withdrawal which makes me believe that sugar is a drug. And it probably is. I just don't feel like going to Google and typing in "Is sugar a drug?" because I already know it is. Sugar is a drug just like chocolate, caffeine, and cocaine. But maybe it's not the chocolate itself that's a drug but the sugar inside that gives it it's drug-like qualities. The world may never care.

Hello Again Nobody!

Yeah I just posted one of these a few hours ago but I just wanted to throw my deviantart account out so you could visit that. If you want to read poems that is. From now on any poem I write will go to my deviantart account. I already have a few posted there and I will put any that I've posted here, onto deviant. I also just posted a collection of 28 Haikus onto there. Those are really cool. Check those out. And other than the one's on here you've read and the ones on there you'll read, there will also be a whole seven new poems that you probably have never read! No matter how hard I try poetry will never sound cool.

http://iamnotcody.deviantart.com

Foods That Should Exist.

Okay so today I was helping my friend upload pictures to Facebook. This would take five minutes or less if I was standing there with them. But when you have to do it through chat and your friend doesn't really know much about computers, it apparently takes you 50 minutes. Which really cuts down on the rest of the time in your day to do whatever it is you need to do. I needed to eat and take a shower but I wanted to do this as quick as possible so I could get back to Facebook and do stupid Facebook shit. So in order to eat as fast as I could I just threw together a ham sandwich. After about half my sandwich I thought, "Fuck! It has never taken me this long to eat a sandwich! I just want a shower!" That is when I had probably the best idea in the history of man. Waterproof bread. Okay it may sound irrational now but imagine that you wake up and you're gonna be late for work! But you still have enough time to take a shower and make a sandwich. Sure you could take a shower, get out, make a sandwich, and eat while you are driving. But if you do that then how will you talk on your cell phone, paint your nails, and drive? Simple. You eat in the shower. Waterproof bread doesn't get soggy from water! Only from saliva! So it won't start to break down until you bite it!

Speaking of food, I have other great ideas for food things that need to be invented. The first one I ever had is ice cream nachos. I bet you just said "Eww." Most people do when I say the name. But that's only because they have no idea what I'm talking about! I'm going to assume that everybody knows what nachos are. And as far as I know, there are only two kinds One kind is the little plastic tray thing you buy at fairs that comes with tortilla chips in a large section and cheese/salsa in a smaller section. The other kind is the loaded kind where there are just a bunch of tortilla chips on a plate and they're covered in meat, cheese, salsa, and whatever else they put on nachos. Ice cream nachos works for both kinds. Instead of meat, cheese, and salsa, you get ice cream and hot fudge. Now that you know what ice cream nachos are don't they sound delicious?

My last idea is a simple one. Rice paper baking cups. This is for those people who are about to bite into a cupcake when they realize that the paper is on it, so they take the paper off but the cupcake falls apart and crumbles to the ground. Well with rice paper baking cups you don't need to worry about peeling back the paper because they're 100% edible! So no more eaten paper and no more crumby cupcakes!

Wants, needs, and don't wants.

I have some great ideas oh yes I do. I have this idea for a tattoo that will BLOW YOUR MIND. Okay so there is a green landscape with a hill on the left and rainbow going across it. On the right is a huge dark green dragon with it's wing's spread behind it and it's breathing fire onto the hill. On the hill is a white majestic unicorn with it's front right hoof hiked up and it has a fierce look in it's eyes. Its horn is deflecting the dragons fire and it creates kind of a semi circle around the unicorn. And in the middle of the two is a lone daisy. This tattoo is the most beautiful and awesome thing I have ever seen and it doesn't even exist. Yet.

Also now that I have my phone back I need to make plans with like A BAJILLION different fucking people! All my friends that I haven't seen in forever (who are girls) want to go hang out and my ex wants to go back out. And I'm not free for two weeks! It couldn't get any more complicated! Oh shit it can! There's also a girl I like! So let's see, take 6-10 girls, one most recent ex girlfriend, one really awesome girl, mix it all together with a confused teenage boy, and what do you get? Sounds to me like a really shitty movie. But it's not a movie. It's real life.

Also I wish more people would subscribe to my blog so it at least gives the illusion of people reading my blog. If you are reading this and are not subscribed, make a blogger account and subscribe right fucking now. Or login and subscribe if you already have one.

Late Night Ranting!

Okay so it's 2 in the morning on a Sunday*, I'm not tired, and I have school starting in about 6 hours. Fuck. Actually fuck saying fuck. I'm glad I'm up. I just talked to someone for like three or four hours. Two whole hours of that was just about The Beatles. And now I'm lending them more Beatles stuff apparently. But I don't mind because I enjoy people who are awesome and who also enjoy the Beatles as much as I do.

Whoa. Sudden realization. Two bands I've loved my whole life, two bands I grew up with, two bands that I listened to for as long as I can remember, are the two bands that have a Rock Band game. That's right. The Beatles and Green Day. If you don't like them then you can go fuck yourself with a rake and if you won't do that I'll be happy to rake fuck you myself. I remember when I was a little kid I sat by the radio listening to Strawberry Fields Forever, and since strawberries were my favorite food at the time, The Beatles instantly were won into my heart. As for Green Day, I remember that whenever we would listen to Dookie in the car and I would ask to see the case. I still remember where Ozzy is. Along with Satan, pumpkin head, Elvis, and the dogs having sex are. I also know what the one missile says, "GOOD BYE." Yeah I want those Rock Band games right now. I also want Dead Rising 2 and Portal 2. Don't feel like explaining those right now but I really want them.

Speaking of the Beatles, my mom made a video for some college class she was in and it is about me. Pretty powerful shit too. It starts off with a bunch of pictures of me when I was super little and my age slowly progresses throughout this all while Across the Universe is playing. The a broken piece of film and My Chemical Romance's Black Parade starts playing showing me in a wheelchair, casts, crutches. Things like that. Then it shows my casts all by one another and then it cuts to me on a bike at a skate park while Back in Black by AC/DC is playing. It's my attempt at bmx but lets be honest I suck.

Video is here if you want to see it. It's called "42: Cody's Story"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ve2eBpNJ-y0

*Technically it's Monday but you can go fuck yourself.

Strength

One day I'll be famous
And then you'll all see
People can make something from nothing
Even someone like me.
I don't know how I'll get there
But I'll prove you wrong.
More importantly I'll prove myself.
I'll prove myself strong.
Right now you crack jokes
And of me you try to get rid.
One day you'll see me on TV
And say, "I knew that kid."
I made something from nothing;
I proved you wrong.
More importantly I proved myself.
I proved myself strong.

Dear everyone.

STOP FUCKING SAYING RAWR FOR NO REASON! It's so annoying! We all know it means "I love you" in dinosaur. But that doesn't mean you're a fucking dinosaur! "Rawr what's up?" Oh wait I'm sorry usually it's "Rawr wats up?" First you think you're a dinosaur and now you can't even spell? Or "I Rawr you?" What you're saying there is "I I love you you." Not only do you look like an idiot for saying rawr but now also for not knowing how to talk at all.

And another thing. I hate silly bands. Anybody else? I wonder how those started. "Hey look a rubber band shaped like a circle! I bet I could make that a stupid little penguin instead!" And somehow they became huge. Fuck silly bands or crazy bands or shit bands or whatever the fuck they're called.

So anyway...

Yeah now that I'm back in school and have nothing to do I'll probably start updating my blog that nobody reads again. It gives me something to do. Also I'll start writing some books. They probably won't get published but I think I have better ideas than most of those New York Times Bestseller Jackoffs. Like that guy that wrote Catcher in the Rye? That was super shitty. And apparently it's a world renowned book that's both a literary work of art, and a controversial piece of shit. I don't think it's either. Just shitty. I did want to kill John Lennon after reading but he's been dead for quite some time. Somebody had the same idea as me probably. Yeah my ideas for books would probably just be something like, "1000 Ways to Insult People," and there would be a sequel; "1000 Ways to Insult People From Other Countries." Probably only available in America. Other ideas include: "The History of Things That Don't Suck," "Things Everybody Hate," "Why Everything Tastes Like Chicken and other culinary mysteries," and "Where Does That Missing Sock Go?"

Yeah I need to start writing those because I know people will want to read about these things. But first I need to do research about all topics. Shit. Homework that I'm going to do because I want to. I'll probably still procrastinate and get it done at just the last minute. But since I haven't made a deadline for any of them I'll probably never get any of them done.

How did I end up ranting about this?

Have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and were really thirsty so you go downstairs, grab a cup, and because you're afraid the fridge will blind you so you get water from the faucet? And then you realize that the water is warm and crappy so you pour it back down the drain? Yeah I just did that. Except I didn't just wake up. Been up for well over 12 hours. And apparently not only does my water taste crappy but it literally smells like shit. Not sewer shit. And not baby shit either. Those are the worst. Like a shit that smells like a bad fart. So I guess it doesn't really smell shitty but farty. If that's even a word. But now that I think of it, why do baby shits smell just as bad as the sewer? Is it all that liquefied carrots we feed them? I think Gerber is actually a secret government organization designed to make baby shit smell worse than a sewer. As far as I can tell they are getting pretty close if not there already. This kinda scares me. The government has nothing better to do than to make baby shit smell worse than sewer shit. How about fixing the goddamn economy you fucks? Yeah that would be great. I have a few suggestions.

First make subdivisions 100% fucking illegal. They are terrible for the economy. Think back to when you were a little kid. Well those of you who are little kids can go fuck off. But those who are old enough to remember a time when they lived in a town where there were stores on the corner to buy candy and soda and other crap that kids buy. Laundromats, produce stores, delis, banks, grocery stores, hardware stores, gas stations, even movie theaters and tattoo shops. You used to be able to walk to any of these without ever leaving your one horse shit town. But now you live in a no horse sewer town with no stores or anything to provide shit to buy. I like a little commerce in my town. Fuck subdivisions.

You know what? That's my only suggestion for making the economy better. And I bet it would work. Also I wish I had a time machine so I could go live through the 60s, 70s, and 80s. I hope I'm not the only crazy fuck who thinks this would be cool.

Marylin Manson

So last night I had a dream where Marylin Manson was throwing a concert in my front yard except I didn't know about it. So I walk outside to find out what it is that's so loud and I see a huge crowd in front of a stage with Marylin Manson preforming on it. I just stand at my front door in awe. Once the song is over, (I forget which one it was) Marylin Manson walks off stage and onto my front porch and says, "Oh hey man I hope you don't mind but I'm throwing a concert in your front yard. As he is walking back to the stage someone grabs him and puts a shotgun to his head. Manson is just like "Whoa what is this?" At which point somebody with one of those machine guns that has like a belt bullet thing and two more people with shotguns come out of the crowd and make him kneel on my front porch. The first person asks him "Now that your life is in our hands what do you feel?" He looks around with and stares him in the eyes and replies, "Nothing." There is a tense moment where you don't know what is gonna happen next then the first shooter says "Good" and walks away. The others follow. Manson just looks around and says "That's it? Not gonna shoot me pussies?" Then I woke up.

Justice Grandma

Justice Grandma: The old super hero.

She'll kick your ass like Robert Di Niro.

She breaks villain's asses instead of laws.

And her cat sidekick has razor sharp claws.

She is well over ninety years of age.

But if a crook is near she will engage.

She gave birth to Captain America's dad.

He was a pussy ass bitch; not at all rad.

With her freshly baked cookie laser eyes,

She'll put you in a food coma. No lies.

But like all great heroes she must one day die.

The apocalypse is when she will say bye.

I haven't done this in a while.

It's not that I'm ignoring this or that I have nothing to rant about. I just don't have that much time to do everything I want to. So I guess my posts will happen a little less often than I had expected. But oh well. Time to rant about something.

Rock Band 3. Omg I need this game. I know it's another "useless" music based game where you hit colored buttons but this one is different! It actually teaches you how to play real instruments in a mode called "Pro Mode." Okay so basically you need to buy a bunch of equipment in order to play that. Like buy a special guitar controller with 17 frets, each with 6 buttons representing strings and you have to play actual strings at the bottom while holding down... Fuck explaining. It's called the internet. But anyway yeah it teaches you real guitar from that. Also they will have a keyboard! And I'm so psyched!! I don't even need to buy the keyboard controller. Just this 40 dollar MIDI adapter to let me use my keyboard. It's 40 bucks, plus the $60 game is already 100 dollars, but that's better than paying 20 dollars more and having a keyboard that only scales 2 octaves instead of 6. So I got the better deal. Oh and I can use my electric drum set too so that will finally be played.

Speaking of keyboard, I'm learning how to play. Not how to read sheet music. That's for fags. I go to youtube and search for "how to play [insert song name here] on piano" and learn it in a matter of a few hours to a few days. I know A Thousand Miles and scattered others. I don't think I know one FULL song. I'm too much of a quitter. Haha.

So I probably should post these more often.

But I don't really know what to blog about everyday. Well today was fun already. Went to summer school which sucked but afterward I went to free lunch at the school. Oh boy it was great. We had chicken nuggets and I didn't know this but apparently the limit on trays you can get is two. They told me this AFTER I had already gotten six trays. On the table where me and my friends were sitting we had over 24 trays. Six from me, six from someone else, six from another person, and one to two from various other people. It was pretty awesome cause one of the lunch ladies came over and asked what we were doing. Isn't it obvious? We're eating dumbass. Try to think before you ask questions next time. But yeah that was pretty awesome. Got free beach balls too. But they say, 2005 on them. We got 5 year old beach balls. Five year old balls. Where's Michael Jackson when you need him? Oh yeah. HE DIED.

In all due respect Michael Jackson really was awesome with some of the best music that anyone ever created. At least in the pop genre. Cause seriously I'd much rather listen to Rush, Iron Maiden, Metallica, or something else good. Pop kinda sucks. Not as bad as country tho. I'd rather listen to rap instead of pop or country. And rap is shit.

Note: Not all country and pop sucks. And not all rap is shit.

I went to the mall today. What a surprise! O:

Not really I always go to the mall. It was a pretty interesting day. I met a few new people and some weird stuff happened. Let's start off with the first weird thing. I was walking around with just two friends at the time and some guy grabbed his crotch and one friend said "Eww! He just grabbed his crotch!" So I put my hand straight out and slowly reached down towards my crotch and grabbed. I didn't notice but apparently an old lady saw me do this and gave me the "What the fuck are you doing?" face. That was cool.

Later, I had a Bawls energy drink and when it was mostly empty I just put the can's brim in my mouth and tilted it upward in order to get a drink. My friend told me that I should stop before I spill it on myself to which I reply, "I will never spill it." I of course spilled it right away. Then my friend says, "Maybe you want to wipe that off?" I say, "No. I love Bawls all over my face!" and just my luck would have it, another old lady was walking by at that EXACT moment. Yeah she looked at me with the same face.

A short while after we were walking around (imagine that) and we walked by this person who had his baby in a stroller thing. As SOON as I walked past it, it started crying. WTF! I'm not scary am I?! I mean I was even dressed nice! I was wearing my purple shirt with a purple/gray plaidishy button up over top of it with my girl straight legs. I mean, I look pretty sexy in it.

Then even later, I was standing by an escalator with my friends again and I'm trying to get one of them to do something for me and they wouldn't do it. So I say, "I'll do the puppy dog face." So I did. I bet it was pretty cute. Then this old lady, (not really OLD but probably in her late 30s to mid 40s) said, "With a face like that you have to do whatever it is he wants!" I'm like "Agree with her!" My friend said nothing until the lady left. Then she says, "I think you just got hit on by a cougar." She was right. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry.

Also I HATE my phone. It's shit. Give me a new one. That means you dad. Buy me a not piece of crap.

Camp was... Just read.

Okay I just got back from camp today. And my clock is flashing 1:56. I think the power went out around two hours and a few days ago. Or just two hours. But anyway. I am glad to be home so I can listen to whatever music I want to. I mean the worship band was great and all but one can only take so much Christian rock. Going to camp for the first time was an experience that I won't be forgetting soon. (*one week later* "What was camp?") But yeah for real it was fun. Everyone should go to a camp sometime. And now for the comedic relief.

The entire camp was split up into 12 teams of a bunch of different colors which had a boys side and a girls side and Wednesday was team spirit day. I was on the red team. Just my luck. I have no red clothes. So the girls come up with a bag full of red clothes and one of them hands me a Lincoln Cheerleading shirt. Apparently I wasn't wearing enough red. So the one holding the bag pulls out a skirt. I, of course, put it on. So know I'm wearing a red cheerleader shirt, a red skirt over my blue girl pants (which are mine) and my John Lennon-ish sunglasses with my fedora. If that's not enough, when we get to the worship center I see someone from the boys team putting on lipstick so I thought "Well at least I'm not the only one." So I put some on. My lips. By now I obviously look just like a girl cause all you can see is long hair, a hat, glasses and girl clothes. When we go outside for whatever event it was, someone goes up to my friend, points at me, and says, "Hey. Is she single?" My friend just says, "That's a dude!" I didn't find out till later that night. I almost died of hilarity. And also that night was the first time I ever said, "This tastes funny because of my lipstick." I hope I never say that again.

Also on Thursday there was this thing called the amazing race where we had to go around campus and do random tasks. I guess it's like the show (I wouldn't know. Never seen.) But yeah my team got first! But we didn't get first overall in points. If we did we would've gotten homemade ice cream.

In case you were wondering the teams were:

Red

Pink

Gray

Brown

Purple

Lavender

Light Blue

Dark Blue

Orange

Green

Lime Green

Yellow

Sorry for the delay...

Yeah I've actually been busy lately with summer school and summer partying and all so finding time to post a blog has been... Hectic? Well other than this one I probably won't post a full rant blog for a few days and I'm not even ranting on this one. Maybe a week or two I'll be back. But yeah. I'll talk to you then.

And omg!!! I just found a dead fly in my bed!!!! D: D: D: Scary shit. Gave me mass chills.